Living life day by day. Every day is a gift - -


I looked over my shoulder and saw these 2 beautiful boys and a lightbulb went off.

They are absolutely perfect.   I have said that my children are the spawns of Satan so much that I started believing that it applied to all of them.  I mean they are all same donor siblings, one could only assume that they all had the big D as daddy.
The fact is, only 3 of them are.  1 confirmed with blood work.  :)
I have also said that twins suck.   I have questioned anyone who says differently.    Why would anyone want twins ?  It's as simple as that.   They are fucking hard.  Nothing good can come from more than 1 child at a time.
Guess what. For the 3rd time in my life.  I was wrong.
I want twins.  I want THESE twins.   These twins ROCK !
They are sweet and sensitive and will always sit in my lap and cuddle.
They play together and nicely most of the time.     And if they don't they'll play alone....for hours....without getting in trouble at all.   They will also play with a rock if it's the only thing in the room.   SUCH imaginations these two have.    They are genuinely nice and I see it in the way that they talk to each other and their brothers and sister.  
They don't pour milk on my floor or break eggs or put gel in their hair.      They aren't overly dramatic.   They get over stuff quickly.      
They sleep like angels.  Going to and staying asleep.
I seriously have tears in my eyes right now posting this.    I don't know if it's my period or finally seeing the light.    I've been walking around with my eyes closed for so long trying to survive all of them that god only knows when the doors opened and the light came through.   
These 2 boys are the most amazing and loved little people IN THIS WORLD.
I love their whole little guts out.   Every last bit of them.
And I'm so sorry boys.   I'm so sorry that your mom is a nut case every month.    I'm so sorry that your sisters clothing aversions and your baby brothers messes and your mom's hormonal imbalances are taken out on you time after time.
I owe you big time guys.  
If you'll let me get a good Christmas card picture, Incredible Pizza here we come.   I promise.   You have to smile though....and look at the camera.  ok ? 
I love you.
Love mom.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom in regards to Syd.    I don't know what's going on with that little girl right now but I worry about her.    This clothing thing has come out of no where and it's not just's everything.  She argues and fights about EVERYTHING right now.   She's just not a happy person.
Today I let her do her own thing.   I gave her all of the choices....and I drove her to school at 10:00.   School started at 8:45.
Thing with her is....I don't have much leverage.  She doesn't love anything.  Well, she does but taking her to Disneyland everytime she goes to school isn't an option.  I also hate rewarding her for something she needs to do.   I can't take stuff away...there's nothing that she really LOVES to take.   She'd rather sit in a time out than go to school and she's stubborn enough to win.
I try to follow my motto, those who deserve love the least- need it the most.  I've tried hugging her and sitting her on my lap to calm her down.   Which sometimes works and she's still late...but at least she goes to school happy.    but she's still late.   ugh !
Any ways.   She has stomach issues (constipation) and I have always believed that is her main issue.   I'm going with my gut that this has more to do with her gut than her skin.
I have a few things I'd like to try.   I'll let you know how it goes.  
Please though, if you have information....feel free to leave it for me.  I'm one who likes to look at all avenues possible.
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