selfish or not

I've decided that we are not going to NY. For several reasons... Am I being selfish? I don't care... I know the truth answer. This time, it's my turn! I know Mikaela will be off tomorrow. I'm prepare for it. I will explain to her that we will go up NY with H as family and bring Travel Trailer along. She will be fine when she hears as family and TT. Will take Mikaela and Kyron to pool, beach and visiting friends.

I have been - having stomach knots for few days - struggling to go or not. It exhausted me a big time. PMS is possible one of factors why I'm so tired.

I know my mom will be sad but i know she will understand and might agree with my reasons. I had my tears coming down - just because I miss my family - it so hard but at the same time I felt good that I have decided not to go.

Maybe for a reason. I do not know... I am hoping to find an answer - maybe not... Rather to follow my instincts than being sorry for ingoring my instincts.

Sorry mom! I will owe you one a big one! (she never read blogs and she doesn't have computer so I am safe!)

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