I went to the dermatologist today for my cancer screening. "Take your clothes off and put this gown on so it's open in the back. The doctor will be right in. "
Those SIMPLE EFFING words send my stomach gasses rolling. I'm immediately afraid I'm going to release those gasses at any minute. It happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. Didn't happen when I saw my new doctor. Wasn't getting a pap. but every time I took my damn pants off for the gyno or the infertility dr. and BAM. it's like I just ate a bean burrito and washed it down with a 48 liter sprite.
NO. I didn't fart and NO. I usually don't. (there was just that one time years and years ago that has me gun shy) It's just that I have the feeling that I'm going to and will have no control because after birthing 5 babies none of the muscles down their work properly any more. (sigh)
I have this ugly ass mole on my neck. I've always had it, but it's been growing and sprouting and it's bumpy now with a hint of sod. ugh. I lied and told him that this mole on my neck has been itchy. (the mole was itchy and has been itchy...but it isn't constantly itchy...so technically NOT a lie) but any ways.
I said this in hopes that he'd cut the mother off. Nothing. I could have it removed for cosmetic purposes. but cosmetic purposes isn't listed on my insurance coverage sir.
I was also hoping I could be laying down for this appointment. I mean. everything (except your boobs and face) looks better laying down. I can suck in my gut standing up...but not the drapes of skin hanging down. Gravity is not a pretty thing after having 2 full term sets of twins I'll tell you what.
LUCKILY that conversation came up before he started magnifying it all and he knew of my 5 kids 2 of them sets. I was thinking about how I could bring it up as he started pushing it all around during my check. nonchalantly add...."oh yeah, I had 2 sets of twins...I was huge....you should have seen my stomach. well, now you can." but he already knew so I just sat there with nothing to say as he eye balled my bits and pieces at 110 times it's original size.
Speaking of my drapes. He found a snag in them. :) he found a questionable mole. he cut it off and sent it in.
I personally think the mother fucker was stretched 2 feet one way and 4 the other. shit. you'd be all discolored and out of shape after that too. I didn't remember seeing it...but again...it could have been a very small freckle before the pregnancies.
Either way. I have a bad owie on my lower belly now.
He wouldn't remove any more of the drapes. you know....just to be safe. and again. my 3rd eye blind with a bit of fuzz on my neck will just have to stay there for a while. sadly. maybe next time I'll try dressing it up a bit. add some color. give it some extra texture. ha ha
My mom was diagnosed and treated for stage 3 melanoma a couple of years ago and is still being watched. It's always better to be safe than sorry. so she told me as she dialed the dermatologist to push me into making my appointment :) and great. Great. now look. now I have a 50/50 chance at having cancer for the next 2 weeks. THANKS !
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