One ringy dingy......two ringy dingy......

(actual conversation that took place on Tuesday)
"Hello"
(very muffled response)
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you...hold on one second."   Put 1 screaming baby down.....walk quickly to another room all the while apologizing over and over again.  both babies now screaming even louder trying to follow me from room to room as I keep trying to walk away from the madness of it all.
"Hi, I'm sorry."
"yes, this is *** calling you back.  I spoke with the doctor and she said that you can use Motrin every 6 hrs for pain control.  and also.  keep all food and drinks at room temperature, it makes it easier for them sometimes when their mouths are in pain."
"yeah...ya see....I've tried all of that.  We're on Tylenol and Motrin every 4hrs....this being given while holding the kids down with my legs, one arm holding their arms down, my elbow pinning their head to stop it from thrashing side to side and my free hand pinching their cheeks open....so that I can slowly squeeze the medicine into their cheeks hoping they don't aspirate it because they are still screaming and crying, "no medsun, no medson" I've also tried the milk of magnesium, popcycles, anbesol and friggin voodoo, none of which seems to help.   I know that most cases of hand foot and mouth are moderate and can be handled with a few doses of motrin.   At my house we like to do things different.   We like to take things to a whole new level here.   My daughter's head actually spun off of her neck when she had this disease.  OFF OF HER NECK.  She didn't eat OR drink for 3 days straight.   The nurse told me to syringe fluids into her mouth.  seriously. 
I was finally informed by a friend of a friend that I could ask for Tylenol with codeine in extreme cases like hers.  Now I don't know why I had to jump through flaming hoops to get this then...but I'm too damn tired and no longer flame retardant to do it again....so please....please will you help a sister out.   I need an order of laced up Tylenol called in to the Walgreen's by my house asap. ok ?"
"I'll talk to the doctor and let you know when it's done"
"THANK YOU, oh bless you."

4 hrs later

"hi, is this the same nurse I spoke with earlier regarding the prescription Tylenol for hand foot and mouth ?"
"yes"
"I'm just wondering.    It says to only give 1/2 tsp.  I normally give him a full tsp of Tylenol.  Is this a typo ? because as you can tell (the screaming in the background never did stop throughout all of our conversations) it's not touching the pain and it's been 2 hrs"
"no, she lowers the amount because of the added narcotics"
"oh.  oh I see.   I was hoping for a miracle.   I guess this wasn't it.   
sooooo, How much would an adult person take of this prescription?  you know.  to just take the edge off ?"

ok so funny story.    I called the pharmacy to see if Ryan's prescription was ready.   (remember, both babies have been screaming hysterically all morning....and perhaps because I'm on the phone...the noise levels seem to hit an all time high)  so the pharmacist repeats what I asked to make sure he heard me correctly.   I then suddenly remember I've only got a day or 2 of my prescription left and I had better pick that up while I can.   So after confirming Ryan's prescription I ask if he can refill my zoloft.
It was honestly the perfect comedic timing.    
Child screaming.   calling in narcotics for him and also crazy pills for myself.  ha ha
After getting off of the phone with me HE probably took a crazy pill.

Hand Foot and Mouth can be so mild that you don't even know your child has it.    It can present itself with a high fever and a rash both on the hands, mouth, feet and even buttocks.    It's highly contagious and lasts between 7 and 10 days.
At our house it's meeeean.  The worst virus we've seen and trust me, we've seen a lot of disease here. 
At our house it lasts the full 10 days.  sometimes even 11 or 12 just to recover from the horror it causes to one's body and soul.  1 more week.   pray for me.
  

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