What's for lunch. The kids apparently.

I'm getting in the shower...standing just so the hot water bounces off of the tile and hits my legs. I reach to turn the temperature down and I hear..."that's a pretty big butt" I turned around to see Syd smiling up at me. She then says, "it's a good thing I'm in the bathroom with that kind of language."

We don't say butt at our house. Way-ell, let me re-phrase that. We suggest that the word butt isn't used at our house. When Syd starts talking "potty talk" as we call it. I tell her to go to the bathroom.."with that mouth" She has actually done it. She went in to the bathroom and started singing, "I'm gonna pee on the floor. I'm gonna poop in the tub. mah tooshey mah tooshey mah tooshey butt. pthhhrt (fart sound)" I don't know where she learns this stuff because her brothers are learning from her. (ugh)

Yesterday I was having a rough day with the boys. Nothing that left their mouths was in a normal tone. Crying. Whining. Fighting. I was putting out fires and telling them to talk "soft buddy...quiet" ALL morning. Syd was no help at all and would instruct and tell either one to antagonize the other while she created the perfect distraction.
I always over heard or saw this going on with my 3rd eye and supersonic mom ears and would put a stop to it. I was SOOOO over hearing them scream that I finally lost it and told Syd to "GO ! TIME OUT...NOW !" she said "no", so I started at her with my arm outstretched, finger pointing to her room and with my angriest, scariest, ooh girl you'd better run voice I yelled, "GO NOW OR I WILL EAT YOU FOR LUNCH ! "
WTF
eat you for lunch. what the fuck was that. I don't even know where it came from.
I have a hard time in the heat of the moment to come up with good things to say that don't include 4 letter words but still lets me be very mean and scary to get my point across. including the word "kill" because she repeats everything I say and now tells her brothers that she's going to "KILL THEM!!" when she's mad, and sometimes adds, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOUR WHOLE FAMILY !!" (something I've never said) which cracks me up because, what the hell did I do?

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