It's always those quiet moments when you surprise me the most.
Walking home from the park tonight you started counting. wun, two, free, four, fize, six, seben, eight, nine, ten......and I smiled because I was so proud of you and then you continued on....eveven, twev, firteen, fourteen, fifteen, sisteen, sebenteen, eighteen, nineteen, tenty. wow.
We played all night. You would run to me and I'd pick you up over my head and chuck your whole body behind me on to the couch and you'd crack up and roll off and do it again. You did somersaults on the mat and would stand up after and flex your muscles and say, "a ticket a gun show" which translates, "you got tickets to the gun show" a little one Mommy J taught you. :) You high fived me and ran off to play in the tent with Spencer.
After brushing your teeth and reading our books I laid you down. You begged for milk and I explained for the trillionth time that we only have water after our teeth are brushed. I turned down your lights and sat in the glider. You immediately requested "I wahn rock ?"
How can you turn down such a sweet request....and although my arms are usually filled with one of the babies, tonight mommy J had them both and they were free to scoop you up and you immediately cuddled against me and your body conformed to mine. You held your tags blanket in one hand and rested your other hand on mine. I started to sing to you. I sang songs that I have sung to you since you were born and you didn't protest. (this time)
With my cheek on your head and my arms tight around your whole little body I heard the sweetest, softest voice sing along. "so rock-a-bye baby in a tree taw-ops, when a wind blo-oh-oh-oh-ows...Jack be nimba (nimble), ja-ack be quick, jack jump ovah a candle tick.."
You are my boy who likes to sing.
You surprise me every day with what you know. I had no idea how much you absorbed.
When did you learn to count to 20 and who knew you learned the words to our songs.
I hope I always remember the outline of your face with my fingers. What your body feels like when it relaxes and you take that last deep breath that confirms to me you've fallen asleep. And how I always rock just a little longer trying to soak in every last precious moment with you, right now, 2 1/2 years old. Your pokey soft hair on my cheek, the baby soft skin at the back of your neck and the curves of your arms. I think about how big you are getting and notice how your legs dangle clear over my own now. I realize how much time has gone by already in 2 1/2 years and how much has changed. How much you've changed. How much I just want time to stand still.
And then you stir and ask gently, "ah bed ?"
I take one last deep breath of your sweet clean smell in and take you to bed.
I love you buddy ! You are my little Cam-man-do.
new rules, stop saying god damn it and mother fucker in front of the boys..they are ah-pairentlee picking up what I'm putting down. oh and why the fuck too. and little bastards. and finally, you make mommy want to drink. stop saying that too. :)
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