Day 1 being a medium to big sized loser

Cameron started speaking in sentences....like I was told he might do and to not worry.
For instance he just said. "No, no Jencer, gung gung gung no a poke me a fork"

This whole diet is going to be MUCH MUCH harder than I had anticipated.
The freezer is stocked with Lean Cuisine meals that I will eat. I have vegetables and other low point items (yes I follow the point system....it's the only thing that works for me) to snack on. And yet I can't tell you how many times, out of pure habit, I had to lower my hand from my mouth while cooking GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES WITH BEAN AND BACON SOUP for my kids...OH GAWD HOW I WANTED A CHEESE SANDWICH.
It's the first day people. Day one.
I swear it's all a mind fuck because Normally I eat a cold Lean Cuisine at like 2:30 pm, cold because after heating and reheating it, what was once more like a cardboard meal has now turned kind of rubbery and I fear heating it AGAIN could possibly turn it in to something more like pavement and that could do damage to my teeth.
Today will be different though and I know it. My brain keeps sending reminder messages to my stomach, kind of like Sydney rubbing it in her brothers faces when she gets a bigger piece of cheese or the red sucker because red is the best color and look yours is just orange. The messages sent over and over....today you will get the lean cuisine, and MAYBE it will be hot, but it won't be followed up by cookies or almond rocca or those yummy Rolo's you've been hoarding unwilling to share with ANYONE.
There won't be cheese sandwiches anymore or that last minute change of dinner plans to get Bajio instead of cooking. (both of which makes me smile all over)
(beginning to cry) I never thought I'd be a comfort eater. I never thought I'd be a treat eater. huh uh uh uhhhhhh ! metaboli-i-ism. Where did you go ? Are you vacationing someplace with willpower and hard work. (sobbing) I MISHEW ! PULEE-EASE come back.

All I want is an entire box of double stuffed oreo's. Oh beautiful Oreo's with your perfect combination of chocolate cookie crunch and soft, creamy filling. You're always there for me when I need you.
We don't even have oreo's in our house.

ooooh, my mind is PISSED OFF. It won't even process any normal thoughts at this point. It's telling me to load up the kids in the FREEZING cold car, run to the grocery store for some Double Stuffed.
Are you KIDDING ME. No damn it. Crazy ass, cold and shit....like I'd run.
maybe if the kids were asleep I could get one of the neighbors to run over for like a minute while I ran......SNAP OUT OF IT WOMAN. YOU CAN'T EAT THE OREO'S !

See what starving ones brain will do. There's no telling what could happen.
I might end up loading those kids in the freezing ass van to run not to the store....trying to take all 5 kids in would be insane...but a drive through for an oreo shake ?????? hmmm
NAAAAAAAH. That's just crazy. ha ha ha....ha ?

*****UPDATE******
I was able to eat my lunch, it was warm...only heated the one time.
I'm still hungry.

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