I thought....why not post how I feel. PERFECT !
My heart of hearts is telling me that this pregnancy will not last. You know that maternal instinct. That inner voice. I haven't felt quite right about this pregnancy from the beginning.
My body seems to agree. I have been having "spotting" episodes throughout this entire pregnancy.
The first time it was pink and ended with brown. The second time was brown. Today brown. There's no reason for it as I have relaxed and rested this entire weekend. I also have cramping. It's not growing uterus cramping either. I've carried twins, I remember the pinching and cramping that you get. This is like shards of glass are in my uterus and then it contracts on them. I remember this all too well.
You see. I feel like I was given a gift and he is now saying...you spit on it. and I respond, that was not spit but tears, and he says...same thing....and now I'm taking it back...and I try and tell him that I'll be ok, I'm coming around....and he says, no...not good enough.
I haven't made my first doctors appointment. I think I will.
I see an ultrasound. I hear a doctor say...I'm not seeing hearbeats. it doesn't look like they've grown from about 6 weeks.
I've said it before and I will say it again.
oh the irony !
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