Lessons, phobias, and a little song called Born Free !

I'm downstairs folding laundry...I glance in to the hallway and to my utter surprise I see A GINORMOUS spider. Looks to be of the wolf/brown recluse family. (or that is how I see them...all deadly, all aggressive, all out to kill me and my family) I HATE spiders....and I use the word hate here. I am deathly afraid of the creepy crawly, climb in your mouth and soda cans while sleeping and sitting unattended. swallow unknowingly. eating your intestines out. killing you from the inside with their poisonous venom.
(now listening to the screech from the shower scene in Psycho...eeh eeh eeeh eeeh)
I danced 3 feet around it. Trying to figure out what to kill it with. I don't like guts on my shoes and I CANNOT step on them for fear that they will stay tucked away under the treads of my soul only to crawl up and around my shoe to EAT ME !

I actually went up stairs and was fumbling through stuff when I heard my daughter playing so nicely and by herself in her room. I made a decision right then and there...I grabbed a big plastic container and headed downstairs. With a 6 foot stick I steered the horrible, monstrous beast in to its temporary cell.
I carried it upstairs and we sat and looked at him for quite a while. After we studied him and shook him up a little...well I actually tipped the container sideways because he wasn't moving and then he started to move at the speed of light so I dropped him :) I then tried to explain away my behavior as to not create an arachnophobe.
I decided to show Sydney that every life is important and took him outside...to the FAR end of the yard...FURTHEST from the house and released him.

As we came back in the house Syd said, "mom member when we caught a GREAT BIG spider."
"Yip" I replied....hoping she would take the lesson and carry it with her in life.
"mom ? how do spiders poop and pee ?" ***
(crickets chirping)
"I will have to look that up and get back to you Syd"
"ok"
Syd went back to her room and I headed back downstairs to do laundry.
Thoughts were racing through my mind....did he come home with us camping, did I step on him when I went in to the laundry room...how close have I come to him. Did he catch a ride on me from upstairs....has he been there for a while...in my hair ? OH GOD ! creepy crawly chills all over me.




As you can clearly see...he is nearly the size of Syd's hand. :)

Can you see the wheels turning.....hmmmm.....how does this creature potty ?















Yet another view of this devilish being.









Answer to : DO SPIDERS POOP AND PEE ?
The process is called defecation. Yes .Their waste is a mixture of different substances and is roughly analogous to a mixture of feces and urine. It appears as a white or cream coloured, chalky residue after the water in it evaporates

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Single Mother

Jan left me.
She comes home on Friday.
I'm scared Todo, I'm scared.

Both boys decided to sleep through the night last night for the first time in a month.
PLEASE GOD LET THAT BE A TREND FOR THE NEXT 3 DAYS.

Who invented the bagless windtunnel vacuum cleaners. I have GOT to know.
All they do is make me feel bad about myself and my triflin' floors.
My floors SEEM reasonably clean. I vacuum and the plastic SEE THROUGH container fills up all too quickly, and I am FASCINATED by all of the shit in there when I'm done.
I apologize to my kids who have had to crawl around on my dirty ass floors since last Wednesday and I promptly take it outside and empty it. Which is NO task in and of itself. It is probably forming some polyps on my lungs from inhaling all of the dust that flies around whilst I bang the filter clean....(why, because I'm anal like that)
What was so bad about bags ?

In single news....I had to kill a spider already today. THAT IS NOT MY JOB ! That is my husbands job. She of course is on her way to stay in some MANSION turned hotel in California.
The spider looked a little familiar....like Julia Roberts character on Charlotte's Web.
I beat the living SHIT out of the thing.
Once as a pre teen, I found THE BIGGEST damn spider walking amongst us and was too afraid to get too close, so I stood 3 stairs above it and dropped a heavy bottle of bleach on it.(it was the only thing I could grab at the time) BABIES SCATTERED EVERYWHERE. They live on their mothers back, NO WONDER she was so big. I've only seen this happen 3 other times. That is some freaky..ass..shit.
The next time I tried to kill a spider I smashed it with my shoe. I sat there and studied it and I'll be damned if after a few seconds that thing got up and ran.
My motto today from that experience. "You have to beat them until their legs fall off" (UNLESS THEY HAVE BABIES ALL OVER THEM)
Otherwise, they will just get up and run away.

uuuuhhhhhhhaaaaa ! (sigh)
I'm off to pick Syd up from pre-school.
(head falls back, eyes close) How am I going to get through the next 3 days by myself ?

You have read this article single mother / spiders / vacuuming with the title spiders. You can bookmark this page URL https://playing-home.blogspot.com/2007/05/single-mother.html. Thanks!