My daddy's bigger than yours is.

sigh
It was impossible to think that I could raise them without having "the dad" thing come up.

I knew it the 6 years prior to giving birth and even years before that when I was just a lesbian with a dream of having kids.
I do have to say that I've just in the last several years come to a really comfortable and confident place in my head and heart about being gay and having children. Seems weird that it would barely be now.
It was a process for me.  Still is when politics plays it's role in all of it.

My kids are still too little to get any of the political and religious persecution against gay families.   Telling us that we aren't a family and that we are evil etc etc. blah blah blah.
But until our families are accepted and recognized other little kids will still question "why don't you have a dad?"  "you can't have 2 moms"   "like a step mom...she's your step mom?"  because we will still be kept in the closet in a way.

J kissed Sydney goodbye Tuesday morning and said that she would pick her up from gymnastics.
At about 5:30 J rolled into the house, threw her keys on the counter and continued with her phone conversation.    Cameron asked her, "where's Syd ?"    J quickly ended her conversation and ran back out the door.   She had completely forgotten to pick her up. (gymnastics is out at 5pm)   I think J got there in record time at 5:40 pm  :)    After apologizing over and over....Syd tells her about a conversation she had with the teachers assistant.
"The girl who helps teacher asked me where my dad was.   Why he was late.    I just told her he probably had to work late."
J asked her, "why didn't you just tell her the truth ?"
Sydney's response, "I didn't want her to be embarrassed, you know...it might make her feel bad."

Every single conversation that I had created and discussed the woulds and coulds of in my head were wiped clean.   I was at a loss as to what to say.
I didn't want to disregard her feelings.    I wanted to find out if it was embarrassing to her and talk about what she could say instead.   
Needless to say this was the night from hell with the napped babies and right in the middle of me trying to find the words while laying in bed with her all I got out was that Syd isn't embarrassed....she just didn't want to get into it with her.  Embarrass her.
Funny part was.  I said, "well Sis, if you tell her that your dad is coming...how were you going to explain it when Mommy J showed up ?"
Sydney said, "oh, she was leaving.  I knew she wouldn't be there when Mommy J came."
"yes Syd...but what if you say this next time and Mommy J shows up...then what will you say ?"
Sydney says, "well, you know how Mommy J looks kinda like a boy any ways.   Nobody would be able to tell that she wasn't my dad."
"Syd, Mommy J doesn't look like a boy honey."
"Well, you know, how she has short hair and stuff and looks like a boy."
and then....all the hell part broke lose and that was the end.  she fell fast asleep and I didn't bring it up again.   I'm waiting to put all of the words together in my head.

Today we had insulation blown into our attic.   A nice looking bigger guy came to do it.    He was friendly to the kids and gave short quick answers to their inquisitive questions.
After it was all done he came in and sat at my kitchen table to fill out the paper work.    Spencer made little comments and asked a couple more questions and then said, "My dad is bigger than you"
I sat there, again, deer in headlights.   Do I say something now ?  Do I correct him ?  It will embarrass him...I don't want to do that.    Do I wait and discuss it with him later ?  what the hell.
After he left and the kids were playing in the couch pillows on the floor I asked him why he said that.
He didn't really respond so I just said again, "we have 2 mommy's buddy.  No daddy's.   Some houses have a daddy....but not ours."

This is tough people.   It's gonna be harder than I thought and I'm not even into the ugly stuff yet.
Someone is going to tell my kids that our family isn't normal.   Someone is going to make my kids cry.
I have GOT to keep my head together.   I think I'm going to write a go to situational book.   I can label it and flip to it as each situation arises.
Maybe I'll write a Disney Princess movie with 2 mom's or 2 dad's.    What ?  it will happen one day.
oooooh, can you imagine the one with 2 dad's.    Her room and dresses will be to DIE for. ;-)

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