It's over. I did it.

I don't feel better...or relieved....in fact I feel very unsettled and like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop or something.
I called her on the phone and just said it. "MOM, I have something to tell you.
I'm pregnant. do you want more. it's twins."
She was immediately worried about Sydney. She asked what I was doing. you know, to herself, she didn't wait for or really want a response.
She did ask me about the bleeding, how far along I was, who knew, how I was feeling, if I had seen my doctor, where I was going to put everyone.
She then said she had to go. it was in a, WOW this was a lot to choke down, I need to catch my breath kind of go. I asked her if she'd be calling my dad first and she said yes. I said, please give it to him in pieces. She said, ok. bye.
It wasn't a "happy" call. or a "congratulatory" kind of conversation. we knew it wouldn't be.
I'm certain she'll come around. like she does to ALL of my little life altering predicaments I get myself in to.

It's done though right ? I mean....she knows now.
Now I just need to get over it.

WHY DO I GIVE HER SO MUCH CONTROL....I swear I will never do this to my kids :)

Something I don't give her control over is my subconscious mind.
There is a tile in my bathroom that looks JUST LIKE a little kid with a bandaid over one eye smiling at me.
When I start talking to him that's when I know it's time for an intervention.






Oh and what do you make of this little scene on my piano ? veddy intadesting.

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